I once heard a story of an instructor giving an assignment to her students where she asked them to take a phrase and write 50 observations about the phrase. The students had a difficult time coming up with 50 observations. They struggled and got frustrated, lost sleep and even tried to “cheat” by asking others for their observations. 

The next day in class they were asked how many observations they came up with and what they discovered. Some shared that they were able to come up with 20- 30 before giving up on the task and casting it aside as a waste of time- and a few determined students came up with 50, however, they didn’t feel like each of the observations were truly worthy of their ink. The instructor then told the students- much to their dismay- that their assignment for the next night was to come up with 50 more observations and they could not duplicate any of their initial observations. The students grimaced and complained while guffing that it must be some kind of a joke and the instructor needed to get a new job because she clearly didn’t know how to teach. She convinced the students that they needed to give the assignment their best effort and trust her. 

 As the students went along with their day they started observing things around them differently and new connections to the phrase began to unfold before them in ways that seemed new, yet, obvious. Idea after idea started flowing and they were able to come up with a second 50 responses and then some additional ones, as well. The instructor asked the students to compare the first 50 observations to the second 50.  The students started chuckling at themselves as they started noticing that their initial insights seemed extremely lacking- surface-level responses at best.

 I started thinking about this, a lot, and decided to complete the challenge myself using the simple term “Thank You”. Simple enough, right? You can probably guess that there isn’t anything simple about this phrase- and at the same time, everything is simple about this phrase. 1. Thank you- you thank someone when they do something for you like opening the door or letting you merge into traffic ahead of their car. A simple acknowledgment for someone being polite. 2. Thank you to someone for offering to do something polite- “Thank you for offering, but I am fine.” 3. Thank someone for giving you something. “Thank you for the cute stuffed animal and candle for my birthday gift.”

There are a million and one things to thank someone for, but I guess the deeper question is HOW the thank you is offered and received. Does it matter how big or small the thing is that inspires you to express gratitude? Does it matter if the person is a stranger or a loved one? Does the form of the thank you make a difference in how it is received (emotionally). Don’t get me wrong- I think that any form of a thank you is important and no thank you is too small. However, I do wonder how each type of thank you is received. For example, electronic (email and text) versus a written note. Is an email personal enough? To answer this question you can think of it like this- Do you get excited about receiving something personal in the mail? How about something written by hand by someone you care about? When you think of writing cards and letters, think about the time period where us “Old School” folks came from before email was an option. It costs money to send a letter, it takes more time to sit down and compose a handwritten note- not to mention the stress of spelling everything correctly- where is the spell checker on my pen? You have the added stress of needing to pick up supplies – stationery, pens, and (gasp) stamps! You have to literally put yourself out there! No, autocorrect! But honestly, none of that matters because the person you write a letter to is so happy to receive the thoughtful note and see their name hand-written on a piece of paper that hopefully, they don’t consider anything else. 

 As I started preparing notes for this blog, I started noticing many more examples of my interpretations in multiple ways. I don’t watch much television, but I am guilty of having it on in the background for comfort noise. The other night there was an episode of Grey’s Anatomy on and the characters were reading letters- actually handwritten letters, multiple pages long, from one of their friends. I apologize that I am not familiar with all of the characters and the reason for the distance between the friends at this stage. What was striking to me was the emotion that was expressed from each of the characters while they sat curled up on their couch with the letter in their hand- reading- and savoring each word. I stopped what I was doing and tuned into the scenes. I have always been a big fan of Shonda Rhimes and applauded her ability to write, yet another, intensely heartfelt episode. The undeniable impact of the emotions was magnified by the personal nature of the handwritten letter as opposed to an electronic email. 

On the news this morning there was another example of someone that took the time to write notes of gratitude to strangers and how those small gestures were so meaningful to the recipients. I had a coworker once that surprised me with a thank you note. It was a simple card stock card, 3×3 inches, and it has had an everlasting impact on me. I can’t remember what I ate for lunch yesterday, but I can vividly remember that thank you card. I was so surprised and honestly a little embarrassed when he handed me the card. I asked him what it was for and why he was giving it to me and he said that he was told once that you can always find someone to be thankful for and that day it was me. I hadn’t done anything extraordinary that day for him- I was “just doing my job”- the fact that he took the time to thank me and make that connection was a life-altering moment for me.

Today, take a moment to reflect on how your life is better because of someone else and what they mean to you. Then get out a piece of paper and write them a note of thanks. Leave a little note on the counter by their car keys, stick a note in their lunch bag or send a card in the mail. This is one of those things that it is as rewarding for you as the sender as it is heartfelt by the receiver. Thank you for reading this post and for being amazing! Ciao Bella!